Packing, Ceremony and Final Freaking Out

Under a week until I leave, and yesterday was a mad house. I didn't want to get out of bed at all, would have buried into the void and slept for a thousand years... but through force of will, and determination to conduct the final rites... I threw myself at the day. I made last minute changes to the orgone tubes - as I started to clear away some stuff to pour them, I thought, oh ya, the preparation is a huge part of the ceremony - I should do a real ceremony! So quickly I threw together a speaker, some Winamp Milkdrop projections, and over that the Random Event Generator. I set up my new video camera on a tripod, put on my tie dye regalia and necklaces, and lead a ritual with style! Videos will be coming soon. It was some good spontaneous ritual, with every ounce of my soul, or what is left after working tirelessly for a month to get this thing off the ground.

 I've gone through countless scenarios for the temple, finding great new ideas and discarding things I thought were certain additions. I've certainly enjoyed this alone time for the past month, and made incredible progress on my path, and in the daily subtle energy activations, meditation downloads, intense dreams every night, purity of diet and fasting, and even musical endeavors. But the loneliness is trying, with self-doubt, even despair creeping in at times.

I'm eager to get on the road, with a good friend, a van packed with all the interactive art, music, and philosophy you can imagine, and the mountains of the West in our sights. The open road will give me some time to relax, read, and make art - something I haven't been doing at all recently. I've seen some out of this world art videos, and know that I can pull out all the stops on the pieces I have planned! About 10 rectangles of masonite with primed canvas, 34 by 21 inches, are ready to be covered with celestial visions and the radiant colors of hyperspace.

After telemarking in Bozemand and SLC, I'll be starting my Shamanic Healing Intensive course at IONS north of San Fran in 3 weeks. It will be a special gift from the universe. Incredible learning and growing opportunities will be possible. Imagine... in 3 and 1/2 years this spring, I will have gone from just discovering the mysteries of 9/11, eating my first mushrooms and underlining my first round of books like Be Here Now and The Doors of Perception, to spontaneously bellowing a magickal ceremony before a hand painted banner, in head to toe tie dye, in preparation for an intense shamanic voyage to learn techniques to navigate dreamtime and bring a mind manifesting temple to the world. If a nihilist, skeptic, cynic, atheist like I was, can trance-form that much, anything is possible!

Finally, there is something I can and have put my heart into. At last, there is meaning and hope, possibility, and  imperative to act. Now is the time to put it all on the line. Burning Man has inspired me these last 3 years, but only to know what greater things are yet possible. And will be.

We have many a festival to go before then, to perfect the temple of our dreams, in our minds. It will be an environment like none other. It will tune, resonate and vibrate the crystalline channels in our minds, that flow through distant galaxies and pierce the veil into the light. May it heighten our capacity for ceremony, for creating coherence with one another and our own will, and unfold reveal-ations yet unknown.